Chang Mai, Thailand

After a really fun week exploring Phnom Penh and Siem Reap, my mom and I jetted off to Chang Mai, Thailand, for a week of relaxation during my holiday.  I choose to visit Chang Mai because of the famous Loy Krathong (Lantern) Festival that was happening during my time off work.  I had also heard great things about Chang Mai and the variety of activities to do outside (which is something I miss since moving to the dusty, concrete city of PP).  We arrived in Chang Mai on Sunday, November 1, a few days before the actual festival started.  However, there were still tons of things going on in the city, so we jumped right into the activities.  After arriving and settling into our hotel, we decided to head to the famous Sunday Night Market which is located in the center of the old city.  A few streets are closed down and vendors set up tables of amazing handicrafts and souvenirs.  My mom and I are avid shoppers, and these weren't just the run-of-the-mill junk souvenirs you find in the markets  There were some pretty incredible finds.  I found some amazing, hand embroidered tops for around $5 each, great beaded jewelry, and some ceramic, hand-made elephant tea cups and matching teapot.  We went crazy!  And only ended up spending about $60 collectively for about 4 bags of great, one-of-a-kind finds (Woot! I love SE Asia prices).  The city was also decorated for the lantern festival so we walked to a few temples and admired the colorful decorations.  

Here are some pictures from our first night. 

Lantern Festival decorations at one of the temples in the Old City. 

Pictures don't do the scene justice.  So beautiful and colorful. 

On our first full day, we went to the Elephant Nature Park which is an elephant sanctuary for domestic elephants that have been abused in the logging and tourist industries.  We got to feed them, bathe them, and interact with different herds throughout the whole day.  It was incredible to be this close to the elephants.  It was scary at times because these animals are huge and still somewhat wild, so if they got spooked, they would trumpet and move around really quickly which was a little unnerving.   We loved it though and had a great day.  It was definitely worth the money especially know it was going to keep these elephants safe and happy.

Cheesing with my new friend. 

Baby!

The elephant kitchen.  Most of the fees to come to the park go towards feeding the elephants.  The amount of food that is required to feed them daily is absurd!  There were tons and tons of fruit everywhere. 

This is bananas....B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

Bath time.

Our elephant.  And no, I am not throwing water on my mother...it is actually going on the elephant. 

Hey there big guy :) 

Waiting at the "kitchen" door for a snack. 

Oh hi, you are close. 

Photobombed by an elephant. 

On Tuesday, November 3, we decided to explore the temple of Wat Prah That Doi Suthep which is a Buddist temple located on a mountain above Chang Mai.  It provides great views of the city below. In order to get to the temple, you've gotta climb a lot of stairs to get to the top, but it's well worth the climb. We wandered around the temples, looking at the beautiful, extravagant details, and enjoyed a great view of Chang Mai from above.  There was also some shopping and food vendors along the road on the way up so I got to enjoy some fresh strawberries (which don't exist in Cambodia most of the time or are sold for a ridiculous amount of money) and other tasty Thai treats. 

Here are some pictures from the temple.

stairs on stairs on stairs.

After the temple, we decided to go back into town to do some shopping and look for a place for dinner.  Now, I know we were in Thailand, but there are just some days where I can't eat other grain of rice or meal with noodles.  Sometimes I just need something else, so we decided we would look for a more "western" restaurant.  We found this great little cafe that looked straight out of Restoration Hardware or Pottery Barn and decided to give it a try.  We had the most amazing passionfruit drink, pasta, and caesar salads.  It was delicious and a much welcomed change from Asian cuisine. I think even my mom was a little tired of rice and noodles.

Passionfruit drink in the biggest jar ever....so delicious. 

Refreshing and pretty. 

On Wednesday, November 4, we spent the day cooking at a Thai cooking school.  We started first thing in the morning and began with a fun trip to the market.  One of my favorite things about SE Asia is looking at all the crazy and unique food in the market.  There is so much variety, exotic fruits, 20 varieties of rice (who knew!?), fresh fish and meat, and lots of tofu (my favorite!).  After exploring the market and grabbing some fresh ingredients for the class, we went back to the cooking school to start cooking.  We made plate after plate of delicious Thai food, stopping after each item to sit and enjoy it.  I made Pad Thai, fried veggie spring rolls, Tom Yum soup, green curry paste, and a green curry stir-fry.  It was delicious.  I don't know how successful I will be cooking this stuff at home, but we did get a complimentary cookbook that included all kinds of traditional Thai recipes.

Fresh grilled fish...with the bones still intact.  Makes for interesting and complicated eating. 

Tofu for dayszzz

Barrels full of rice. 

Pad Thai...that I made!

Tom Yum soup (super spicy) and fried spring rolls. 

On Thursday, November 6, on our last full-day, we decided to get outside the city and explore the surrounding mountains.  We opted for a trip to one of the most incredible waterfalls I've ever seen. It's called Buo Tong Waterfall (better known as "Sticky Falls").  It is a waterfall that runs over limestone rock formations.  The limestone feels like sandpaper which makes it "sticky" and easy to climb.  When you first look at it, you think there is no way that you will be able to climb it since any other waterfall that steep would be incredibly slippery, but not so with this waterfall.  It was so easy to climb, absolutely no problems.  We climbed all the way to the top!

Thai Tuk Tuks

Stick Falls.  isn't it incredibly beautiful?!

Mom wouldn't stop taking pictures!

Close-up.

Second Tier.

Waterfall selfie.  I'm so Asian now, taking selfies.

Getting by with a little help from the rope.

As I said earlier, we were in Chang Mai during the Lantern Festival so there were lots of activities going on around the city.  On Thursday night, we holed up in Starbucks with some hot chocolate until the parade began which was beautiful and elaborate (as are all decorations in SE Asia).  The parade headed towards the river with all the people filling in the road behind the parade as it moved.  Once down by the river, people began releasing lanterns into both the sky and the river. There were literally thousands of lanterns floating in the sky.  It was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen in my life, pictures really could not do it justice.  We opted for the more traditional floating lanterns to release and walked down the river to send it off with a wish and prayer for the year. 

Pure beauty.

View from one of the temples in the Old City.

Lantern Prep.

There they go!

Crowds of tourist letting go of the lanterns.

Lighting our floating lantern.

Putting the lanterns into the water.  All the lights on the water in the background are all floating lanterns.

After walking around the city watching the lanterns for a few hours, we decided to head back to the hotel.  Our flight back to Cambodia left the next morning, so we needed to rest and pack.  All in all, it was a great trip.  I am so glad we were able to experience the incredible festival in-person.  It was such a beautiful city, and a true highlight thus far of my time in the region.  I loved sharing it with my Mom too :)

reflecting on 26

So, as many of you know I turned 27 this week.  *Side note, thanks to all of you who sent me sweet well wishes on my birthday and throughout the week, I feel so blessed by all the wonderful people in my life.**

Anyways.  Being closer to 30 rather than 20 is definitely weird.  I was not the most excited or comfortable with the increase in number initially.  However, after some reflection, I realized 26 was pretty amazing.

I learned a lot this year.  Like a lot, a lot.  It was crazy & fun & hard & bittersweet in so many ways.  Unfortunately (but actually fortunately), 25 ended with some heartbreak.  Oscar Wilde is quoted with saying, "I think it's very healthy to spend time alone.  You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person."  And ya know what, I couldn't agree more Oscar.  I have spent most of my teenage and young adult life in relationships, always a part of a duo, a twosome, never alone.  And while I've been blessed to have dated some really fantastic guys, I never got to know my own heart.  So 26 was the year of independence and figuring out the nooks and crannies of my own heart.  I wanted to spent time reading & listening & praying & figuring out who I am because I think it's important that I get to know these little pieces of myself before someone else could attempt to understand it too.

And you know what I've discovered?  I really like me.  Yeah, I know I might not always say the right thing or ask for forgiveness when I should or stop talking and just listen at the right time, but I'm not perfect.  And for the first time in my entire life, I'm giving myself grace.  So I'll say it again, I'm not perfect, and these days I feel no pressure to be.  I gave myself time with pain and tears and lonely nights; I wrestled with hard questions about my faith & my future & my place in this world.  And for the first time in a long time, God spoke and I listened.  I heard the promises from a loving Father telling me that I am good enough; that I was created to do good; and that no matter how many times I fail & make the biggest mess, God's grace is sufficient.  

And so with 26 and now 27, I'm more myself.  I feel wiser & steady & strong & courageous.  I am embracing community & choosing love.  Forcing myself to be alone and sit though those still nights without any distractions has been a hard discipline.  I'm an extrovert and I despise being alone.  It's hard.  And to be honest, I was also afraid of who I was.  I was afraid of the things God would reveal to me about my character.  And although there have definitely been tough moments of figuring out what character flaws need to go and all the ways I have miles and miles of ground to improve upon, God's grace is sufficient, of that I'm confident.  I can definitely continue to grow, but at the end of the day, I am a child of God, created in the Father's image, and His grace is freely given, without me having to do or fulfill or be anything else.  I'm so thankful for the year alone.  I'm thankful that I'm more aware of who I am.  I'm thankful that God has spoken to me with truth and love.  I know what I want.  I know the ways I don't need to act anymore.  And I know that God is going to continue to draw me close. So I'm alone, but I'm not...I've never been alone.  I look back on my path & see God's presence in the happy moments & the ones that still bring stinging tears to my eyes.  You see, God has been there all along.     

It's also worth mentioning that I have been blessed with the best group of family and friends in the entire world.  What God takes away, He gives back ten fold.  And year 26 was a year that I embraced community fully and realized that I have a net of friends and family who are worth more than gold.  Last fall, I needed companionship and friends who would surround me and love me unconditionally, even when I was hurting & sad & lacking direction.  I developed new friendships; I got involved in community activities that were fun; and I became rooted in a faith community that gave & loved & accepted me.  I saw God over steaming hot plates of Mexican & cups of coffee & homemade cookies right out of the oven.  I felt God and heard His voice in moments where I laughed so hard I cried or when a friend confided in me or in late night knocks on my doors from silly friends who just wanted to hang out.  God is good, and if you look...not even hard, but just open your eyes, He is in our midst.  He's in my Mom & my friends & the ladies in my small group & my lovely high schoolers at church & the sweet little lady who rings me up at the grocery.

Another thing I chose in 26 was to pursue something I'm passionate about.  Since college, I've cared deeply about human rights & the poor & the vulnerable.  Rob Bell writes, "Life is not about toning down and repressing your God-given life force.  It's about channeling it and focusing it and turning it loose on something beautiful, some thing true and pure and good, something that connects you with God, with others and with the world."  Can I be honest for a second?  I was scared as hell when I got the e-mail from IJM telling me I was accepted to be a Legal Fellow in Cambodia.  My entire life has been about choosing what's easy and what's expected.  I went to law school which was probably expected since my Dad is an attorney.  I went straight into the family business which was probably expected because why wouldn't I want to work there and climb the ladder to senior partner some day. Why would I ever give up a good salary and good benefits in a place that was familiar and comfortable?  But that scary moment when I mustered all the courage I had in this little body of mine, I told my Dad I was leaving.  I stated with shaky confidence that I had decided to move to Cambodia, the place furthest from home, a place I knew would be hard and uncomfortable to do some really difficult, life-changing work.  So here I am, a year later living in Cambodia and loving it and struggling in the messes of life.  It's not easy.  It's. Not. Easy.  I've cried at their stories, literally laying my head down on my desk and allowing the tears to come & come & come.  I've seen sickening pornography.  I've seen the pictures of the used condoms & the dirty beds & the perpetrators who destroy lives.  I've touched & seen & experienced tragedy first hand. I've read their sweet names and wondered what they were like before someone exploited them.  I've seen their innocent faces. I've seen lives destroyed & I've seen hope flourish & the human spirit rise above horrendous circumstances and soar.  I can't even tell you the things I've seen that I can never un-see.  But I am doing work that is good & true & hopefully in some small way brings Heaven crashing into earth.  I feel connected to God, in a deep and intimate way.  He is my strength and quite literally the lifeline that allows me to take a breath after reading one story after another.

So what I'm trying to say is that 26 was a good year, my friends. Good and hard, but good is sometimes hard.  God never intended life to be easy, but He did intend that I grow.  And every day, I pray that I look more like Jesus and less like the messed up person who deserved death on a cross instead.  So as I embark upon 27, I'm thankful for these truths that I've packed away and am carrying with me always.

I've learned (and am continuing to learn) to love myself.

I've learned to embrace community.

And I'm doing something that is so, so good.

It is well with my soul friends.

It's not easy & I cry a lot & I miss you all, but His grace is sufficient...so don't you worry about me.  

s t u f f

In the past few days, I have found myself on multiple online shopping sites...Loft, Anthro, Ann Taylor.  I keep getting all these e-mails enticing me with all these offers of "50% OFF ALL ITEMS" or "20% off gorgeous Anthropologie bedding." I honestly considered buying a set of sheets for my bed....THAT I WILL NOT SLEEP IN FOR ANOTHER 11 MONTHS.  Houston, we have a problem.

Stuff.  Man, can I just be honest for a hot minute and confess that I am a lover of "stuff."  It's been challenging coming to Cambodia with only two suitcases in tow; I have about a 14 outfit rotation that is going to make up my wardrobe for the year.  I also have a sparse scattering of books & pictures & other personal items that make my room feel like mine. And it's hard. 

Coming to Cambodia, I have realized how much I love stuff and how dependent I am on creature comforts.  I miss my iPhone that allows me to peruse the internet at my leisure; I miss my entire air conditioned apartment.  I miss my collection of 50+ shoes and unlimited jeans, sweaters, shorts, and jackets.  I miss my two book shelves full of beautiful photograph books & interesting biographies & light-hearted fictional stories.  I miss Netflix and a microwave.  I miss Target and being able to find everything I need (and often more) in one place.  I miss my antiques & my knickknacks & my photo albums & my junk. 

Sometimes I miss it so much that I cry. I cry from being exhausted & feeling unsettled & out of my comfort zone. 

I've been really blessed to work in an environment that provides space each morning to journal, read the Bible, and pray.  And through this daily practice, God has been teaching me a lot about "stuff." I've prayed a lot about the kind of treasure that is important to me, is it the treasure on this Earth that will remain here and rot and rust and not matter or do I want to invest in bringing Heaven to Earth and storing up my treasure in Heaven? I Timothy 6:10 says, "For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil.  And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows."   

I don't want my paycheck or the type of car that I drive or the amount of name-brand clothing in my closet to be the sum of me.  I don't want to be defined by my stuff.  Rather, I want to be intentional about cultivating a content heart.  Am I serving on a daily basis?  Am I loving others deeply?  Am I living in community with people who are teaching me and giving me space to grow in a mature and healthy way?  And I'm not saying money is bad or unimportant because Lord know it definitely is useful and necessary, but too much emphasis has been placed on this idea that money buys happiness.  And it's a big-time lie. 

So, I've decided that although I do want a good paycheck & steady job & a savings account to one day buy a house or travel to places I dream about, I really want the treasure in my life to be people, to be experiences, to be long conversations over endless cups of coffee.  I want my treasure to be my friends gathered around a table laughing and sipping red wine.  I want healthy relationships with family & friends & someday someone special.  I want my treasure to be sitting on a front porch with a good book in my hand and a beautiful sunset to enjoy.  I want to be in awe of God's creation and in love with the possibility of what life has to offer.  There is so much good in this world.  I want to taste it, feel it, see it. 

So my prayer is that each of us are challenged in our daily life to live more simply and not be defined by our "stuff". 

Settling

"The world is a book and those who do not travel only read one page."  St. Augustine

I read this quote a few years ago, and remember writing it down in my journal, circling it, underlining it, going over it in yellow highlighter.  Have any truer words ever been spoken?  The world truly is a book, with every chapter giving you more adventure, tears, laughter, understanding, and self-reflection.  The lessons I've learned about humanity & about myself & about God throughout my years of travel are invaluable and innumerable.  And traveling has become a part of my DNA, coiled together with all the other parts that make me, me.  That after being in one place for an extended period of time, I feel this sense of urgency to get out of my comfort zone, to embark on something new, to meet new people and try new foods, to find myself lost and frustrated and finally found again.

Cambodia.  Sometimes when I say it & let it roll around on my tongue, it still blows my mind that I'm finally here.  It truly is an incredible place.  Gritty, beautiful and tragic (mostly because of the light my work has shed on this place) all at the same time.  But I'm loving it and doing my best to feel comfortable with it which isn't always easy.  Life is good though and full of community.  And for the first time, I feel excited to go to work.  I feel like my work matters, that my education and those long years of grinding out papers, briefs, and outlines have finally paid off.  I'm prepared (as best as I can be) and am ready to have my heart split open & spill all over my paper, to work for something that matters, to bring Heaven to earth for children being exploited in Cambodia.  To play a part, a very small fleeting part, but a part nonetheless, in the incredible work International Justice Mission does.

So that's my update.  Happy & content & missing home & full of peace.  And incredibly thankful for a God who is teaching me so much and allowing me to have this opportunity.

First Week in Cambodia

Hello Friends and Family!  Greetings from Phnom Penh, Cambodia.  I have finally arrived and am starting to get my bearings, mind you slow but surely.  Time to update you on all that has happened in the last week.

I left Lexington early on Wednesday, June 25.  It was pretty tough.  I had spent the previous days saying goodbye to best friends then spent the last evening my mom and dad.  We made a lot of last minute Target runs as well as stuffed in last minute items into my already overpacked suitcases.  Bright and early on Wednesday, we headed to the airport.  We enjoyed some Starbucks coffee and time as a family.  It was pretty tough saying goodbye to my parents; I've been working with my Dad and am incredibly close with my Mom so the idea of not seeing them with any kind of frequency was sad.  There were lots of tears, lot of promises to email/Skype/text, and finally I left their warm embraces and headed into the security line.

The flight over was LONG.  I think it was my longest flight to date.  I went from Cincinnati to Chicago, to Seoul, then finally Phnom Penh.  I watched approximately 7 movies (none of which were particularly good unfortunately) and got maybe two hour of combined sleep.  I arrived in Phnom Penh on Thursday, June 26, at 10:30 pm.  After getting my luggage, applying for my visa and going through customs, I was greeting by three co-workers from the office.  It was a sight for sore eyes seeing some familiar faces (well semi-familiar, from FaceBook at least).  We quickly loaded up my bags and hit the road because they were in a hurry to get to one of the local sports bars to watch the US play Germany in the World Cup.  I tried to jump right in which kept me from being overwhelmed and homesick.  I got to meet some other people from the office and other NGO's in PP so it was an nice time.  When I finally got back to the apartment, it was around 1 am, and I was EXHAUSTED.

I slept in the next day, then headed into the office late afternoon to meet everyone and tour the office. The office is amazing, both the Cambodian national staff and ex-pats working in the office have been so welcoming.  I only stayed for about a hour, then it was off to Kep for the weekend with about a dozen girls.  Another intern from the office had emailed prior to my arrival asking if I'd be interested in going to the coast for a weekend trip immediately after arriving.  Since I definitely want to travel as much as possible while in SE Asia, I decided it would be fun as well as a great opportunity to meet the girls from the office as well as friends from other organizations who would be joining too.  Kep is located on the coast, and it is beautiful.  It's very lush and tropical.  We got great a great deal on some bungalows, and just relaxed the whole weekend.  We went on a beautiful hike Saturday morning, laid by the pool, ate some amazing seafood, and watched the sunset go down at a quaint little restaurant called "Sailing Club."

Here are some pictures from the weekend.



Our Hotel



The bungalow we stayed in complete with AC.  So important!



The hotel had 8 bungalows surrounded by lush greenery.  So gorgeous. 



Lounge area overlooking the hotel and bungalows.



Our view.  That's the ocean in the distance.  Swoon.



Again, the view. 



Swanky pool.  Very refreshing and much needed after our hike. 

Hiking in Kep National Park.

A view from the hike, you could see forever.

Lime Soda.  Tonic water, fresh lime, and simple syrup.  My favorite Cambodian food item so far.  It's the most refreshing thing in the whole entire world and I will drink this for the rest of my life.  Seriously, for the rest of my life.

The local food consists primarily of fresh seafood, and in particular, crab.  They season it will local pepper which is grown in a town close to Kep called Kampot.  It's delicious and amazing and fresh and I could eat it all day.

"Sailing Club" lounge area.  We enjoyed some drinks as the sun went down.

The incredibly beautiful pier and wild sea.  

After returning from Kep, I settled down into my apartment and prepared for my first week of work.  I am currently living with 3 other interns from work, and will be at least staying here until September.  They leave throughout the next few weeks, so my living situation is going to change in September.  I'm just going to wait and learn the area to decide what I want to do when that time comes.  I'd like to stay in this apartment because it's incredibly cheap but that also means I'd have to find 3 new roommates which could be challenging.  I also might want to move to a more "western" apartment that feels a bit brighter and more like home.  But for right now, this works and it's cheap so I'll take it.   Work is also going really good, although I haven't really done anything except listen to training sessions and read research.  The research is pretty disgusting and eye-opening but vital to the work our office does in Cambodia so it is good to start getting familiar with the culture.  But really other than reading, I didn't do much with respect to work.  I'm sure that will change as I get settled, but I'm happy to take it slow and soak it all up.

It's also rainy season here which means a few times a day we experience absolutely torrential downpours.  Yesterday was my first experience with flooding streets.  It was crazy.  Literally, streets turned into rivers, and there was at least 6 inches of standing water for about an hour.  The traffic still flies through it as though there isn't 6 inches of water.  It's crazy.

Tuk Tuk ride through a downpour.  

Anyways, Happy 4th of July.  Tomorrow I will be going to the US Embassy for the 4th of July Party so I should have more to blog later this week.