In an effort to be a tourist in Phnom Penh, I have been going to different tourist "hot spots" in and around the city the past couple of weeks. One of the places I knew I wanted to dedicate an afternoon to was the Killing Fields of Choeung Ek. It's about a 45 minute tuk tuk ride outside of the city, but well worth the visit as it is beautifully done and pays tribute to the thousands of victims who died there.
The memorial park at Choeung Ek has been built around the mass graves of many thousands of victims, most of whom were executed after they had been transported from the S-21 Prison in Phnom Penh. They have a really well done audio tour provided with admission which adds to the ambiance of the memorial as everyone is silent as they walk around and listen to the tour.
As you walk around the memorial, you can see pieces of clothing that have come to the surface after a heavy rain. It is a constant reminder that so many people were murdered and buried on this sacred ground. There is even a sign asking visitors to get a memorial employee if you spot teeth or other bone fragments that have surfaced. I think the hardest thing for me to see was the "Killing Tree," which I had heard about in one of the books I read about the Khmer Rouge before arriving in Cambodia. This tree is mentioned in multiple accounts as being a place where Khmer Rouge soldiers would literally bash young babies and children against the tree, murdering them. Can you imagine? When the compound was raided after the defeat of the Khmer Rouge, there were still fragments of bone, blood, and brain matter on the tree. As horrific as that is to write, I think it's important to know that it happened. The audio tour also talks about the large amount of women's bodies found next to the tree where mothers were buried with their murdered children.
I have a hard time comprehending this. How do people become so violent and hateful that they murder babies by slamming their heads against a tree? How does a group of people, over the course of four years, kill between 1.5-2 million people in the most atrocious and inhumane ways. I just can't fathom. And it makes me wonder, how am I so lucky to have grown up in a safe country where no violence or harm has even come close to affecting me personally? I mean, when I really stop and think about what happened here, how do you even move on and live again after surviving something like that? Again, I just can't.
And I have noticed since arriving in Cambodia that the effect of the Khmer Rouge is still quite evident today. Families are missing large numbers of people. Aunts, uncles, cousins, sisters and brothers....just gone. People suffer from mental health issues, PTSD and depression run rampant. All the intellectuals were killed during the genocide, so the legal system and economy and government and education system all suffered and are still struggling to catch up.
Genocide hurts, it breaks my heart. I believe in the good of people, and genocide shatters that for me. Violence and murder and rape and famine. These are things I constantly wrestle with in my prayers. I get mad & angry & cry & shake my fist at God, asking Him if He is so good....why was THIS so bad. Where was God during in all that? And I don't have the answers and I never will. But I do think it's okay to ask questions of God and struggle with the hardness of life.
And it's okay to let things break your heart a little bit.
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| Mass grave |
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| Excavated mass graves |
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| Where they place the bone fragments that surface. |
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| The Killing Tree |
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| The Memorial |
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